the places i hate the most, end up being the places i can never leave

so i'm sitting here in my boxers, drenched in sweat. its not a pretty sight, but its the price you gotta pay for being a master at the dance game. however, i must stress that my teacher and master jedi jessie, is still by far better than me overall. and likely, contrary to what she will say, i will always be her little padawan dance guy learner. i may have beat her 1 or 2 times today, but she can rock my socks off any day of the week. anyways, i've really been thinking about this whole online diary, and i'm wondering if its pointless. i mean, it sucks because there are so many things on my mind that i want to talk about, but i could never say because of some of the peeps who might read this. i might cause such a ruckus if certain people knew what i did and especially what i thought. so, i'm sorry mike and jess, but i'm not gonna be able to say everything i want to say. i wish it weren't like that and i just didn't give a crap, but sadly i do (or maybe, thankfully i do). today was a good day though, despite my ranting and raving after class. its just that...ahhhh! see, i can't say things. this whole thing is pointless if i can't say what i want to say. lets just say that some (undeserving if you ask me) are luckier than others. i guess i'm just a jealous fool. on to a new subject because i'm being so incredibly vague right now that i'm just gonna be asked by everyone what i'm talking about (and now that i've said that, everyone who wasn't planning on asking will now ask). so, the more i'm in carolyn's class, the more i think she is a tad attractive. like today. while the rest of the class was teaching as she sat on her ass, er, i mean, butt (sorry jessie), she sat next to me and she wasn't the dogface that i usually see. granted she still has a ghetto booty, but that's okay. might have been my beer goggles though. just kidding folks! well, today's been fun, kim is supportive (as supportive as can be i guess given the circumstances), jessie laughs like a hyena, mike makes a freaking mean breakfast, lyndsie is, uh, umm...lyndsie is hot, patti doesn't seem to like to write me back, matthew is still a freaking star in my book, carolyn is slowing becoming not the most annoying person in the world (awkward phrasing), and as for me, well, i'm still ethan. still confused about everything, always wanting the grass somewhere else. i don't suppose i'll ever change.

but as for me i'm coming to my final failure
i've killed myself with changes trying to make it better
but i still ended up becoming something other than what i had planned to be